Friday, January 15, 2010

I don't get it.....

It seems like everyone is splitting up! It's crazy! People who I thought had strong marriages are now split. It seems more so in my military friends then in my civilian ones. Does that really make a difference? Does the time apart and stress of a military job make you more of a statistic for divorce? Does having a spouse in the military make you more likely to cheat? I just don't get it. And it's all the wives that I know! Not the husbands but the wives. Cheating and/or having full fledged months worth of affairs.

Call me old fashion but I think that when you say "I Do" you should mean it.

12 comments:

Amanda said...

I totally agree. It's deeply saddening to me the rates of divorce, especially among military members. I really wish it wouldn't be so, but I guess people nowadays don't take marriage as seriously as we used to. It really breaks my heart.

Amanda said...

It's so deeply saddening to me the rates of divorce and it's steady rise. Especially that in military couples. I guess people dont take marriage as seriously as we used to. It just breaks my heart.

Stephanie said...

I'm with you on the whole forever and ever thing.

IMHO, the military makes the strong marriages stronger and shatters the weak ones.

The wives I know that make poor choices are typically the ones that got married young (not all young wives cheat and not all cheaters are young). Seriously, I am not the person I was when I was 18 and there is no way my high school sweetheart was the love of my life. I think it's normally the wives because a) more access up here on land and b) some wives resent being "left behind" with all the responsibility.

It all just makes me sad. And, really grateful for my Hubby.

kkrowan said...

Stephanie- See I don't quite agree with the age thing...lol because we got married young. I do know that we aren't like most and most young married couples don't last long. I more see that it's the people who didn't know eachother very long before they jumped the gun. I think some people see getting married as a continuation of dating, with the mind set of "Oh if it doesn't work out we can just get a divorce".

Just because you THINK you are in love after 3 months doesn't mean you should get married.

Brienne said...

I also don't agree with the whole age thing!! I got married to my husband at 19 and were together since I was 16 and am more in love with him today than I was 3 years ago. But I do think being in the military makes things harder on a marriage but like Stephanie said it breaks the weak and hardens the strong!

Amanda Brandeburg said...

It is definately the mentality of guys meeting a girl either at home or where they are at school... dating for a month... saying they are in "love" when it is more like lust and excitement. I do know couples that knew right away, but they ended up still dating a while before getting married

mommymichael said...

yeah the divorce rate in the military is pretty high, and from what google is telling me (lol) it's on an "upward trend"

Cassie said...

I don't really get it either. I DO think that part of it is, not necessarily age, but that a lot of couples arent getting to know each other well enough before they decide to get married. I know this happens a lot in the civilian world too, but it seems like it happens much more with military...they want to get married before they move across the country or get deployed or whatever. I've had people say to me, "Well we only dated for 2 weeks before we got married, and we're happy!" But they've only been married for a year and the husband hasn't been deployed yet...etc. It makes me sad, and I just wish that people would really think about it before they end up basically marrying a stranger!

Jenn and Eric said...

I truly believe that it's mostly the women who went in with blinders on. They expect a military marriage to work like a civilian one. They arent and never will be. Plus, a LOT of military marriages happen for the wrong reasons. "he's deploying and I want on base". *shake head* Some of these women seem to think that their husbands will NEVER be deployed, etc. Then there is a small sect of women who -are- happy in their marriages, but are just slimeballs.

I dont get it, I never will. I cant say that I am a total 'forever and ever' person, because I'm not. I was divorced one time before. But marriage vows arent to be taken lightly. I have never understood the whole "He's deployed and I'm lonely" excuse. How the hell do you think he feels??? Ugh. Makes me want to smack the crap outta people.

As others have said though, the military will make a strong marriage better, and will shatter a weak one. Be assured in the marriage you have. I -KNOW- I have a strong one. To me, that is all that matters.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I agree! I don't care what you have to endure, I feel cheating is never an option. Once you get married and say vows then it's to the end.

kkrowan said...

LMAO Michael...only you would google it.

Christina said...

There are more divorces with Military marriages for lots of reasons in my opinion. It's not just the girls who marry into the military either. Age does have a factor in ALOT of military marriages. This is no offense to anyone who married young, it's different for some. HOWEVER, Girls and guys who are young are not always fully matured. Even if you think you are, more than likely.. you are not. Guys mature slower than girls as well. And personally I think they "Grow up" and then decline in maturity all over again.
They still want their "Freedom".
Alot of young girls just want to get married for the sake of getting married. To "Live their fairytale". And when it's not what they always dreamed it would be, they give up and run. I have seen this numerous times.

I see a lot of girls getting married just because they got pregnant. This is NEVER a good reason just to get married. I also see a lot of couples who get married and immediatly want to have kids. This is stressful on a relationship, especially in a military relationship. You should always have time to you and your spouse, to adjust to married life.. and on top of that, adjust to the military life.

Also with the military, You have a lot of "Tag Chasers". They marry to the military for no reason other than they want benefits, a man in uniform and they think the money is good. THESE are the girls you will find cheating the most often.. and with another man in uniform. It's sleezy.

I have seen several marriages crumble that were said to be "strong". You may think your married is unbreakable, but anything is possible. I am married, and I use to think my marriage was strong.. and I still think it is strong, but it's not unbreakable. No marriage is unbreakable.