Sit & Wonder

I'm a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason" good or bad I try to think that it will get me somewhere at some point. Things happen that you don't like at the moment, but you just need to move on and know that at some point it will all work out.

Bad break ups lead to finding the one.

Losing a loved one leads to strength and understanding (for some).

Moving to a new place and being out of your element can lead to finding the best friend you've ever had.

Things change and life goes on. I always find myself not asking "what if" but more thinking about how one little thing could have changed everything.

What if I chose bus A not bus B? I never would have met Justin. I mean this. We met on a band bus on the way to play for state (ok laugh) but if I would have picked the other bus he never would have sat two seats ahead of me and never would have helped me figure out my new cell phone. Ha!

What if Justin never went into the Navy? I would have never met my best friend. Our husbands knew each other years ago and reconnected in DEP. They decided to introduce us. She has been my BEST friend from the day we met.

What if my sister was still alive? This one is hard. I miss her everyday. Two years is way too long to be without her. The only semi-positive thing I can get is understanding. We don't know the plan. We can't always choose. But we can love, whole heartily. When she found out she was sick I spent more time with her then I ever had before. She taught me things about being a mother that I never asked or expected. She opened up and loved with everything she had. I carry her in my heart everyday and I am so thankful for what she taught me.

I know I'm not perfect but I do the best I can with what I have at the time and that's all I can ask of myself. At times I might think that all is lost. But it's not. All I can do is strive to be the person/mother/wife that I hope to be. I might not know why something is happening but I can trust that it will all work out for the best.