Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sink or Swim....

It's been a long, hard day here today. I'm not much of a whiner, but today I can't help it.

After almost 9 months in port, my husband is back out to sea today. We were supposed to have a little underway to "break us in", but as things always do, it changed and we are in for a pretty good one.

Every time my husband leaves I drive him into work really early. We have this tradition(as a lot of other families on the boat do to) where we get DD and go down and park and eat while we say our final goodbyes.....today's was hard. I ugly cried. You know, that stupid cry where you can't breathe and snot is everywhere.....yep, that was me.

I should be fine with this. We've done this SO many times before. But this was different. It felt like the first time all over again. This will be my first underway in the new house, my first underway with a 6 year old......he will miss his birthday again(the big 25!) and he will once again, for the 3rd year, miss Landon's first day of school. Little things, I know. But I want him here to be there for them. I was a pro at this.....stupid 9 months in dry-dock!

So tonight, I'm having a mini-pitty-party. Lan and I went out to dinner with a friend and got our minds off of everything and tomorrow I will put my big girl panties on and be fine.....but not tonight. Tonight, I won't answer my phone, I will cry a little more than normal and I will most likely end up in bed with the little boy who reminds me so much of the man who just went under the sea. Tonight, I'm sad.

7 comments:

(Wild) Rice said...

Awww honey. I'm so sorry. I know how much you love your man. I know nothing can be said to relieve the pain. I wish I was there though. To at least try to help keep you busy. {{HUGS}}

Bri0213 said...

Ive been feeling the EXACT same way today.. and your post made me cry even more!!! I'm so hormonal I just can't handle this right now.. hence why i'm going home.. ugh!!

Michelle D. said...

I'm sorry you felt so down.

And you should be able to throw yourself a mini pitty party the day he leaves. I know I do!

I feel for you as my hubby is out now too and our anniversary is tomorrow. He missed last year's as well because he was deployed.

Feel better. I know you're a strong woman.

Tonya said...

My heart is breaking for you. *hugs*

KG said...

As fate would have it mine went off on deployment today. He couldnt call after his second flight to meet his ship because his phone wasn't charged. Because his charger was packed 2 days ago when he was originally supose to go. Canceled flight and all. You are NOT alone in this feeling, and OH does it creep up on you when you least expect it. I'm just starting out in the navy spouse world. And mine too will miss his birthday. Your blog gives me strength.

Eights on the Move said...

I'm a little late on reading this (thanks to finally getting internet in our new home) but I hope by now, you've been able to dry your tears & keep your chin up :)

KERRY said...

Hi :)
I stumbled upon your blog and started following. I read this post first, it must have caught my eye, and I feel for you. I am the wife of an Airman in the RAAF (ex-Navy) here in Australia. He travels alot for work, he deploys and we miss him when he's away. This last pic of your son watching his daddy's sub pulling out brought tears to my eyes...