Monday, October 24, 2011


I'm having a hard time lately with friends and morals. Being LDS we have a high standard when it comes to morals. I've never had a problem being around people who's morals were different because I'm a big girl and I can make my own choices. But, as Little is getting older, I'm having to rethink a few friendships(or how quick I make friends). We don't say OMG in our home(but oh-my-Santa is a new addition) we also don't say I hate you or shut up...we choose not to. I've noticed that my sponge like minded 6 year old picks things up when we hang out with people who use those words or cuss often(he's never cussed with the exception of A-hole once and trust me that will never happen again. lol).

I also don't like having to explain drinking and smoking to him at 6! I feel bad when I have to say what they are doing and why it's "bad", then he asks if mommy and daddy do it, then doesn't understand why so-and-so does if they know its bad to. He looks up to a lot of my friends and I would hate for that to change.

I don't mind hanging out with people who have different morals(gosh, I sound like a broken record!) but at what point is there too much of a divide? I don't mind having a BBQ and most of the people are having a beer but when it's just Little and I and we have someone over, it's awkward when they want to bring a bottle of wine. Maybe they think I secretly want to drink? But it makes me uncomfortable and I don't always feel comfortable enough to really say no(though I will kind of hint about it as much as I can without being rude....because I think it's rude to tell them what they should and shouldn't be doing. Even if it's my home, THEY choose what they do with their body, not me)

Language gets me to. There is a time and place for the F-bomb(it's your right!) but i get embarrassed when I'm out with someone and they say it in a really inappropriate place.(IE. In front of our church missionaries, in a nice restaurant, at Little's school when they are there with me picking him up....ect.). It makes me cringe. I REALLY hate reading it on FB.  I've deleted people for the foul things they were posting, but it was no one I truly care about.

I'm just at a strange place when it comes to this. I often feel like the 'odd man out' for choosing not to do the things that most of society does.


Anonymous said...

It's called "living in the world, but not of it."

L is getting to the age where he is GOING to start asking about anything and everything. I think it's an excellent way to start teaching him life values. Just because people do "bad things" doesn't make them, horrible people. Just people who aren't making good choices.

If it's going to be a huge issue for you, then I'd just stop hanging out with those people. Start distancing yourself because you can't change everything about a person and you can't shield L from every bad decision that other people are going to make.. So either learn to help L understand, or distance yourself.

At least that's my 2 cents ;)

KERRY said...

I totally agree!! You don't do or say around your own kids so why would you want others doing it? And what gets me is they don't stop to think about the child nearby when they're using bad language or lighting up a cigarette!!

KK said...

Michael- I should add that it's not just him I'm worried about. I want to surround myself with people who I have a lot in common with and can talk to. One of these things is not a deal breaker....but all of them together CAN be(but not always is). I wasn't raised around any of it and I want the same for L.

~His~ said...

i had an amazing friend in high school...i met and was close to her in my rebellion stage but even when i wanted to rebel i had my limits and she constantly reminded me and encouraged me to do what i wanted to do and never pushed me out of my comfort zone. Hopefully Landon has those same friends and it helps he has a mom that stands her ground and knows what her limits are and aren't.