Moments.

Have you ever felt like you had a 'moment' where you weren't at your best? When you didn't live up to even your standards let alone someone elses? I had one the other day and it's stuck with me. Really stuck.

While in Washington DC we were walking around with a couple that J was friends with the husband and I had just met the wife. We had been walking around for hours and Little was getting restless. We were walking to one of the last monuments and Little was running ahead of us and while I was alright at times, I wanted him to stay close and made it clear that I didn't like him running so far ahead. I know I wasn't being the nicest and I know I was being cranky and a little bossy.....but I was scared. Here we are in a huge, new city and my child isn't close enough for me to react if something were to happen. J got a little upset and told me to stop yelling(by yelling he means being bossy and not talking in a whisper).

Now, looking back I feel bad. I know I must have given this poor couple a pretty nasty first impression of me and I hate that. I hate that they could very well think I'm a mean mom for not giving my kid free-rein. But, all I can say is I was scared. Scared something would happen and it would be because I wasn't careful enough.

But I have to stop and think. In the end, as bad as I feel, I would rather be a bad mom for being too over-protective then be crushed if something were to happen because I wasn't careful enough. I hope I have another moment to prove to that couple that I'm really not all that bad. Contrary to popular belief.

I also want to add that I never once hurt Littles feelings or forced him to hold my hand and have no fun at all. I just overly expressed my need for him to stay close....and bickered a tiny bit with the husband about how far is too far.

Port Call!

We've known for a few months that the boys were going to make a port call during this underway. I'd been begging my husband the whole time to let me drive down....he said it wasn't worth it since he wouldn't be getting off the boat.

Fast-forward to the day they pull in. He calls at 3 and says he is being forced to get off the boat for a few days but still doesn't want us to drive down since it's so far and it would only be for 2 1/2 days. I was bummed but I understood. L and I went home and ate dinner and were getting ready for bed when a strange number came up on my phone(at 9 PM). I answered and it was a sailor from the boat "I have a message from your husband(who was standing watch and couldn't call), he's requesting your presence in Annapolis tomorrow morning." I got a few more details and told L to start packing. At 10 PM we were on the road(after calling and booking a room to make sure I knew where we were going).

The drive went great! I've never driven that far by myself! L slept almost the whole time just waking up to tell me he loved me and fall back asleep. We didn't stop at all until we got to the hotel and we made great time!

J showed up to the room at about 11(which was nice since we didn't get in till just after 4 AM) and we headed out with two other couples that were there. We headed to downtown Baltimore where we ate lunch and went to the Aquarium!

Baltimore. It was such a neat city. I always love going to new places!

The bottom right picture is L sleeping with his elephant. That 2ft guy goes EVERYWHERE with us. To the left is the boys in front of the Aquarium, the next is L running to the Aquarium and the one above that is the Hard Rock Baltimore!

The big picture is a piece of the Twin Towers. Its a memorial for all the people from Maryland who's lives were taken on 9/11.

Baltimore Aquarium. This was the most amazing aquarium I've ever been to(it was kinda like a mini zoo!)! While they didn't have a lot of the big animals(like penguins, seals, otters and such) they had more than most do of other things! They had a ton of fish(all different kinds and sizes in TONS of tanks!), Dolphins, monkeys, a sloth, alligators, bats, turtles, sharks and Jelly's! They had hundreds if not thousands of Jelly fish! It was so amazing!  L's favorite was Bob the fish(we named him) He was almost as big as him!

Washington DC. We've always said we were going to go to Washington DC while we lived over here, but we said we were going to wait till L was 7 so he could do everything with us since we don't like leaving him behind.....he turns 7 in 4 months so I think this counts! Since we were so close(only about 30 min) we decided to head down the next day!

We spent the day in DC walking around(we walked 7 miles and never once got a cab!). We went with a list of things we wanted to see. The Smithsonian, the Holocaust Museum, Washington Monument, Big Abe and the White house. And we did it all! AND we even went and ate at the Hard Rock to get L a shirt for his collection!

The Smithsonian Museum was amazing! We spent about 2 hours in there and while we saw everything we didn't stop and look at everything. My favorites(in the top left of the pictures)....were Julia Child's kitchen, the original Muppet's and the ruby red slippers! J liked everything about all of the wars and L LOVED the trains! The big pictures on the right were us before going in at the start of our day!

The Holocaust museum was nothing like I imagined. You aren't aloud to take any pictures in there so I don't have any to share, but if you ever go, check out Daniels story first. It's a beautiful exhibit and really paints the picture of what happened and feels nothing like a real museum but gives you the feel like you were walking through someones life. Everything there didn't hold a candle to it after we were done, we couldn't stop thinking about Daniels story.

After the museums we walked to all of the monuments. It was neat seeing them and I'm so glad we did it! But it was a TON of walking! Haha. L was perfect and J only had to carry him for about 3 blocks at the end! I was so proud!

It was so hard saying goodbye again the next morning but I'm so glad I drove down! I asked J the first night we were together what changed his mind and his answer melted my heart...he said that he was standing watch after we talked and all he could think about was how much he missed me and wanted to see us. He said it would have been sad to see tons of other guys with their wives, knowing I could be there to but he told me not to come.

I'm officially that crazy wife that drives to all of the ports. lol.

Morals.

I'm having a hard time lately with friends and morals. Being LDS we have a high standard when it comes to morals. I've never had a problem being around people who's morals were different because I'm a big girl and I can make my own choices. But, as Little is getting older, I'm having to rethink a few friendships(or how quick I make friends). We don't say OMG in our home(but oh-my-Santa is a new addition) we also don't say I hate you or shut up...we choose not to. I've noticed that my sponge like minded 6 year old picks things up when we hang out with people who use those words or cuss often(he's never cussed with the exception of A-hole once and trust me that will never happen again. lol).

I also don't like having to explain drinking and smoking to him at 6! I feel bad when I have to say what they are doing and why it's "bad", then he asks if mommy and daddy do it, then doesn't understand why so-and-so does if they know its bad to. He looks up to a lot of my friends and I would hate for that to change.

I don't mind hanging out with people who have different morals(gosh, I sound like a broken record!) but at what point is there too much of a divide? I don't mind having a BBQ and most of the people are having a beer but when it's just Little and I and we have someone over, it's awkward when they want to bring a bottle of wine. Maybe they think I secretly want to drink? But it makes me uncomfortable and I don't always feel comfortable enough to really say no(though I will kind of hint about it as much as I can without being rude....because I think it's rude to tell them what they should and shouldn't be doing. Even if it's my home, THEY choose what they do with their body, not me)

Language gets me to. There is a time and place for the F-bomb(it's your right!) but i get embarrassed when I'm out with someone and they say it in a really inappropriate place.(IE. In front of our church missionaries, in a nice restaurant, at Little's school when they are there with me picking him up....ect.). It makes me cringe. I REALLY hate reading it on FB.  I've deleted people for the foul things they were posting, but it was no one I truly care about.

I'm just at a strange place when it comes to this. I often feel like the 'odd man out' for choosing not to do the things that most of society does.

Fall leaves me happy!

I love Fall. I really think it's my most favorite time of year. It's the end of the too hot summer and getting you set for the holiday! I love the weather and the changing of colors! Ahhhh, I just love it!

J came home from underway with just enough time for us to be a family. Then he left again.

We were able to do all of the great fall things while he was home since he will be gone for a while this time. The highlights were apple picking, pumpkin picking, hayrides & corn mazes, carving pumpkins and the Jack-o-lantern spectacular!

I made a few collages since we took SO MANY PICTURES! Enjoy!

I love going to this orchard. It's been my favorite for a few years now and I love that not a ton of people go to it(it's popular, but not as much as some...I think no one really knows about it and it's greatness yet....so shhhhhh). We always go and pick apples, then jump on the horse drawn "hay" ride to the pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins, then we ride back up and walk to the corn maze.

Landon LOVES this corn maze! Even on a weekend it wasn't packed and we had a great time running in the maze trying to find all of the stamps. This was J's first year being home to go with us and he really enjoyed it also.

That night we got home and got to carving! All I cared about was the seeds! YUM! Landon carved Frankenstein, J's was a vampire and mine was just a "lady pumpkin" in Landon's words. Haha.

The Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at the Roger Williams Zoo in RI is one of the most amazing this we've been to. We were told that the wait time on the weekends was bad, so we went on a Tuesday night and had NO wait time to get in! It just took us over a hour to see everything, but it was so worth it! They had a trail with 5,000 carved pumpkins! They were amazing! If you live in New England I recommend you go!

We had the best time walking around. It was the night before J left so we just soaked up every minute we could together. There is something about holding hands in the dark that just gets me.

Does anyone have any fun traditions that they only do during the fall?

Taco Pumpkin Seeds!

I love the fall! I love anything pumpkin flavored also! BUT most of all, I love me some pumpkin seeds! Last year I made 4 different kinds of seeds. They were so yummy, but one was the best....so that's all I made this year! I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!
Ingredients

1 cup seeds from freshly cut pumpkin, washed and dried
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon taco seasoning mix
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt

Directions

In a skillet, saute pumpkin seeds in oil for 5 minutes or until lightly browned. Transfer seeds to an ungreased baking sheet (if you have extra oil try to get as little of it as you can). Sprinkle with taco seasoning and garlic salt; stir/toss to coat. Spread into a single layer. Bake at 325 degrees F for 15-20 minutes or until crisp. Remove to paper towels to cool completely. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 weeks.

Funk.

I'm in a funk this month. I've tried to pull myself out of it...which leads to me just doing things for me. So, I've caught up on my shutterfly books and read a ton, but my poor blog got the shaft.

J is constantly coming and going with the boat which means we are trying to in squeeze every ounce of family time that we can.

As a result of all that running, I've had the migraine from hell for the past week that I can't seem to shake and to top it all off, it was my sisters birthday this week and I miss her more now then ever. I wish I could go lay flowers on her site like the rest of the family, but being 3500 miles away makes that a little hard. I wonder if missing her will always hurt this bad. Will I be better when its been 5 years? Or 10? Or will it always hurt this much? I've had some great talks with Taylor(her daughter) this month. Shes growing into such a lady. She's 13 now and in the 8th grade and at that point where she could really use her mom. I'm glad she has my mom and my other sister there to help her and she knows I'm just a call away. My heart just hurts for her.

Now that I've gotten that all of my chest I feel a little better. Sorry it's so 'all over the place'. I will be back to normal writing this week, I promise.