Friday, April 16, 2010

Some Nights.....

  • Are harder than others.
  • I don't want to sleep alone.
  • All I do is toss and turn.
  • I can't sleep till the morning comes.
  • I just want to cry.
  • Are easier than others.
  • I can almost pretend that he's there with me.

It always seems that the end of an underway is when it gets the hardest. It's when I want him here the most. And knowing that deployment is coming sooner rather than later makes it even worse.

I was talking to a wife the other day about how I'm so Okay with this life. I want people to know that being away from my husband is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love that man with all of my heart and it never gets easy saying goodbye, but we are lucky and we are grateful for this life. I never want someone to think that he doesn't mean the world to me just because I know how to put on a happy face and make the best of everything. My world is a world of understanding. I love him, and this life is hard, but I can do anything if I'm doing it with him.

7 comments:

Lishak said...

Totally with ya on this one. :)

Bri0213 said...

this is EXACTLY how i feel... almost word for word

Ed said...

must be hard

-Ed
http://www.themusicboard.info

mommymichael said...

it was hard for me in the beginning. But i've so just come to this point where i'm like "kay byeeee!!!" (happy voice) and all is well, and I just go on with life, and when it's getting close to him coming back I get very excited to see him again and sleep with him and snuggle on the couch. But i'm okay with him being gone too.

Kelly said...

some people just don't understand how we live this life. They always say to me "well you signed up for this when you married him" but what they don't understand is that yes we've chosen this life, but it doesn't mean we won't miss them terribly when they're gone. I agree with everything you've said.

Symdaddy said...

As an ex-soldier (Falklands, N.I., etc.) I know how he feels. Believe me, it's just as hard for him too. Mae for a damned int'restin' time when he comes home tho, don't it?

I landed on your page by pure accident, but I'll look in now and again to make sure knows what he's missing.

Jen said...

Kim,

I think you're very strong and that's why I follow your blog. As someone new to this life myself, people like you give me strength to know that it does get better and easier and I will become stronger. But everyone has, and is entitled to their moments, even the strong ones. You wouldn't be human if you didn't :) Thanks for putting yourself out there!