Monday, February 22, 2010

Hate is such a strong word.

If there is one thing I'm not, it's a whiner. Except when I'm sick but that doesn't count. You will never hear me say I hate the Navy or hate my husbands job. It's just not me.

But I see this a lot.

I'm not saying it's wrong by any means I just think about it a lot differently then most.

The Navy. How could I hate something that has given me everything? Justin and I married young. Really young. Our family started before we were ready, and while Justin had a good job, it wasn't one that could provide us with everything we needed. We were paying almost $400 a month for health insurance and we still paid thousands out of pocket when we had Landon. We were living with my parents and had hopes of moving out, but not knowing when that would happen. The navy changed that. We want for nothing.

The Boat. This I don't really understand. What did the boat do? Haha it moves when told and breaks when told not to. Every boat does this. The people on it are human they can't always be nice and Navy's needs come before family ones. While I don't like playing second fiddle, I have to understand that a military job is not a normal one. We knew this going in. I KNEW this going in. I don't like when he comes home after 9pm every night for a week. But me bitching about it will solve nothing. I just smile and ask if he needs anything. If I think him being at work late is hard, I need to stop and think about how it is for him. I can't imagine working that many hours and not getting a break(aside from being a stay-at-home mom).

Deployment. While I hate my husband being gone, hate being alone, hate being a single mother and hate not knowing what he is doing and when he is coming home. I know that what he does is amazing. He is out there fighting. Someone has to do it and I'm proud that my husband is one of them. The sleepless nights and sporadic tears are nothing compared to the pride I feel. I fell lucky to be married to a sailor even if he's never home.

Tricare. For no-military folk, this is our insurance. While most think it's free, it's not. We pay, just not much. You can choose 2 options. I won't go far into them but the one we have is....we use military facilities, no co-pays, free prescriptions and really no added costs at all. Maybe it's because I have had other insurance that gave us the run around and made us pay way too much. But for us tricare is great. I always get in right away and have never had a snippy person to deal with. I think some (not all) take for granted that we are lucky to have this option. But I will add that some people have had some crappy experiences with them (Jenn, you have every right to hate them all you want!). But I feel lucky to know we are taken care of and we won't be blind-sided by a bill a few months later.

Maybe I'm just a glass half-full kinda gal. But I think sometimes people need to stop and think before they go off and HATE something that is giving them so much. I feel so blessed to know that we are taken care of everyday, even more so with the current job market the way it is.


Amanda said...

well, im glad someone said it! i grew up as a Navy brat, and now becoming a Navy wife, I just feel so blessed! It's a difficult, but beautiful life, and it's the one we choose and one we wouldn't change for anything.
all the best!

Jenn and Eric said...

Ha! Guess I've earned the right to hate Tricare. Really, they've been great us but not for Alvin. We've actually talked about trying to get secondary insurance for Alvin because of all the run-around we get with Tricare concerning his medical care. But, it's only because we have Tricare that we can even think about that, since Tricare doesnt make us pay a premium. Weird Catch 22.

Ana said...

Ah, the Navy. I will spare you my comments, haha, but I do think overall we've had a decent run of it. Financially, it's been very good, and I have nothing bad to say about our shore duty. Considering what sort of jobs Oliver had before we were married, I know there's no way I'd be staying home with the boys right now if it weren't for the Navy. My earning power was just better.

It does annoy me when people go off on the whole Navy thing and have absolutely nothing good to say, but I totally understand disliking the boat you are on; sometimes, you get stuck with some seriously bad leadership, and a schedule that just sucks the life out of you. Our last three years in WA were very bad, most of it because of the boat. I've never seen my dh so unhappy, and I'm relieved moving was so good for him. There is a point where you have to wonder if you are gaining more than you are losing. We definitely have talked quite seriously about that over the last couple of years.

Just wanted to add a thanks for the headsup on the Thomas set. We already bought an 8-track set for him, but I'm going to save this one for his birthday. Thankfully, they actually ship to FPOs!

Bri0213 said...

I know I do my share of whining about the Navy but lately, since I've started hanging out with "someone"... I have grown defensive about the good ole Navy!!! Having to listen to someone constantly bitch about this and that is growing old quick... I'm not looking forward to being alone for a long period of time again but HEY we knew this was coming!!! ... Ugh i'm just too worked up right now to make much sense but I feel the same way you do!!!! Wish I could get someone else to see it that way!

KK said...

Bri- I KNOW! At some point you just want to yell. WHO CARES!

At some point you just need to accept it. and I don't think you whine about compared to some people I know/knew?

I think this came from that point of being deffensive. I feel so lucky and don't understand why some other people don't.

USNchic said...

It's a unique lifestyle that we Navy Wives have. It's certainly not for everyone. It has its shares of ups and downs, but when the times get tough we have to stay optimistic and be proud of what our husbands are doing to help support our families. If our husbands don't have our support it makes their jobs a lot more difficult then they need to be.

I suppose if you DO need to vent your frustrations with the Navy, it is better to write about it than to take it out on your spouse. :)

Maggie said...

I love your post. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I just got engaged to a submariner and I am not used to the whole navy life. Actually I am still trying to figure it all out! I try to be strong for him and take care of him but it is definitely not easy!

Thank you for reminding me of all the good the navy does. And for me, it even brought me the love of my life.

Bri0213 said...

EXACTLY KIM!!!!!!! It's come to the point that I don't want to talk about the NAVY with her at all because I feel defensive right away!! It's getting old real quick!

Bri0213 said...

USNChic thats another thing that REALLY ANNOYS ME! I understand that sometimes we get mad that our husbands have to miss something or work late or whatever but WHY TAKE IT OUT ON THEM!?!?! I know if given the choice my husband would be there whenever I need him but he can't so I get really mad when I see a wife YELLING at her husband because he had to work!!! UGH! lol I need to start blogging again and not just using Kims comments! LOL

KK said...

Bri- But I think for me, it took me getting deffensive to get to the point where I feel the way I do. It's like how I can talk about my sister all I want but as soon as someone else does....step back! lol.

I agree with the whole it's not their fault thing. I never take it out on J because like you said, he WANTS to be home. IT's just the people who hate the Navy becuase they have never had their husbands home for their birthday....really? you're that selfish? I don't get people.

fancypants said...

My thoughts exactly! Personally- when I hear other wives bitch about the Navy or the base or their hubby's commands- I feel insulted. I want to say- "really? You are THAT special that you deserve better than all of us"- or "do you think this only affects you?"
*deep breaths* they know not what they say...